I lost my dad in December. He was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia in 2019. It progressively got worse, and he ended up in memory care. Gratefully, he never forgot who I was. But the end of his life wasn’t who he was, so today I want to share a little bit about my amazing father, Jeffrey Balkus.
A math teacher and computer programmer, he had analytical skills like you wouldn’t believe. I get all of mine from him. I also get my patience (it’s why my husband nominated me to teach our son how to drive, like my dad taught me). Even though I have more patience than my husband ;), I still aspire to have as much as my dad. I suppose he had more practice, so there’s still hope.
A Philly native, my dad was still an Eagles fan (after 30 years of living in Georgia), and loved a good cheesesteak with a Pepsi. He said they could not do a cheesesteak properly anywhere in the south. He also made sure to let his caregivers know about his Northern heritage…he joked with them, and with every good-humored human, any chance he got.
A cat-lover, he named his standard issue cat Toffee, which fit in very well with our food-inspired pet names: Peanut, Hershey, and Rolo. Now Toffee lives with us, and I’m glad we don’t have to call her Betty or something, as I think she’d feel very left out.
An organized man, my dad loved having things in order. I was grateful for this, especially, after he passed, because had his affairs buttoned up. His death would have been much harder if he hadn’t. If I can give you a word of advice: make sure your loved ones have their wills, finances and directives in order.
A wonderful father and pop-pop, my dad was a blessing to my whole family. He was a very pleasant, happy man, and always gave me unconditional love. I hope I am able to pass that forward.
In what felt serendipitous, my client reached out to me about a project as my dad’s health worsened. Although I was busy and sad, in this particular case, the timing was perfect. My client is the Aging Mind Foundation, and the good they do in the world is funding dementia and Alzheimer’s research. They found me before my dad was ever diagnosed, and for this project—a web page to promote their 2025 Gala—I didn’t charge them. It felt good to be doing something to help others who have been affected by this disease.
Here’s to putting time and energy into things that matter to you.
Here’s to cheesesteaks, Pepsi, patience, laughter, and having grace with yourself, each other, and the world.
Very nice story, Jill. Thank you for sharing this part of your life. Those who bring us into the world live on through us, like your patience that comes from your Dad. In the little bit of time I have seen you face to face, I quite easily see that. All the best to your Dad, to you, your kiddos, and cats.
Thank you Steve. All the best to you too!
What a wonderful tribute for your father, Jill. I’ve always liked your posts, but this one spoke of a beautiful space in your mind. You’ve learned to respect the people you care for and the causes that matter. The fact that you did not charge the website for the organization’s gala is a deep thing.
Thank you for sharing your personal story. I lost my father in 2024, an amazing man with a positive legacy gracing three generations of people. So I can relate to your pain and pride, and the passion with which you shared it.
God bless.
Thank you, Balaka. I’m sorry for your loss as well.